'My parents think I should go through with it since the engagement has already been announced to family': Bride-to-be cancels wedding after her 32-year-old lawyer fiancé lied about being able to pay for 70% of the wedding

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
May 14, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Many people feel incredibly pressured to proceed with an engagement, even if it's clear that the marriage is doomed. The sunk cost fallacy, the phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial, is very much at play here. If you have loved someone enough to have committed to marry them, it would be a huge emotional step to break it off when you've already accepted the idea of your future marriage into your heart. It is incredibly painful all at once to break an engagement, but that pain would be much less than the pain you'd feel in a loveless marriage that ultimately ends in divorce. You can either choose to be really embarrassed all at once, or really unhappy over the course of months or years. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for calling off my wedding after finding out my fiancé never had the money he promised to contribute?

    I (33F) have been with my partner (32M) for 5 years. He proposed in March 2024 and we agreed to get married in December 2025.
    via u/Calm_Ad6711

  • The bride-to-be doesn't want to leave her fiancé because of infidelity or lack of interest, but because he lied to her about finances. Of all the things to break up over, I'd say that disagreements about money are at least in the top 3, if not #1. 

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10505821440
    via Bailey Anselme

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    He promised to cover 70% of the wedding costs and said he'd transfer money to my account whenever I paid for something. I ended up handling all the planning and bookings. By April this year, I had already paid around 500k (local currency). But
    via u/Calm_Ad6711
  • 04
    when I checked, he hadn't sent me a single cent. I kept reminding him, and he always said, "Yes, baby, after work." I work in an accounting firm with over 40 clients, so I'm insanely busy and didn't have time to double-check every day. But I trusted him.
    via u/Calm_Ad6711
  • 05
    When we finally sat down to talk about it, I found out he didn't actually have the money. He planned to ask his parents or use future income, meaning he had been lying about having savings. All this time, he bragged about being financially stable and
    via u/Calm_Ad6711
  • 06
    successful (he's a lawyer), but apparently, it was all talk. I understand that people can go through tough financial times, but lying about it and letting me carry all the burden? That felt like a betrayal.
    via u/Calm_Ad6711
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    via Hunters Race

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08
    I decided to call off the wedding and the relationship. Now he's throwing the wedding expenses in my face, even though I did all the work. My parents think I should go through with it since the engagement has already been announced to family.
    via u/Calm_Ad6711
  • 09
    AITAH for calling it off? I feel heartbroken, used, and honestly, fooled. And seriously, if you can't afford to get married, why propose in the first place?
    via u/Calm_Ad6711
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    Cheezburger Image 10505856768
    via Colin + Meg (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11
    Artistic-Tough-7764 NTA, but to be clear, this is about the lying and betrayal, not necessarily about the money
    via u/Artistic-Tough-7764
  • 12
    Calm_Ad6711 OP Yeah :3 It's the dishonesty that broke me, not just the lack of money. If he had been upfront, things might've been different...
    via u/Calm_Ad6711
  • 13
    Acrobatic-Yam 5903 Thank God you found this out before you got married. As they say, money problems don't start with money. What if this had been your mortgage payment or school fees? Those aren't "optional" expenses, and there can be huge repercussions for nonpayment. I say good on you for holding your boundary.
    via u/Acrobatic-Yam 5903
  • 14
    Also, don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy. Yes, you announced it to family, but if they love you, they'll support you. Better to be a little embarrassed now than waste more time and have to pay for a divorce attorney and separate assets later!!!
    via u/Acrobatic-Yam 5903
  • 15
    AstraWyn This isn't about money it's about trust if he lied about something this big before marriage what else would he lie about later, you dodged a bullet.
    via u/AstraWyn
  • 16
    Acrobatic-Yam5903 100% agree! I'm saying if he had promised to reimburse for other expenses, the impact could have been even greater! You can back out of reservations, but you can't back out of a mortgage, so OP would have been left holding the bag. Thank goodness this happened before the wedding!
    via u/Acrobatic-Yam5903
  • 17
    ItJustWontDo242 I'd be asking what the h_ I he's spending his money on if he's a high earning lawyer with no savings.
    via u/ItJustWontDo242
  • 18
    PenelopeShoots He might be squirreling it away where she can't ever get it. It makes me wonder if she's a good earner and he was trying to screw her over.
    via u/PenelopeShoots
  • 19
    KWS1461 NEVER go through with a wedding to please someone else! Dumb attitude from your parents. Hugs to you.
    via u/KWS1461
  • 20
    Busy-Bumblebee5556 I took my kids aside on their wedding morning (separately) and told them that if for any reason they had changed their minds or had become unsure that it was fine to pull the plug right then and there. Both proceeded with their wedding but I feel it's so important to be able to not go through with it just because of the money or possible embarassment.
    via u/Busy-Bumblebee5556
  • 21
    DragonSeaFruit Are your parents always bad parents or just when it comes to losing face?
    via u/DragonSeaFruit
  • 22
    cthulularoo Your parents don't want the embarrassment of having people think of you having to cancel the wedding. But you're really saving them the embarrassment of having a divorced daughter. NTA, the lying is huge, but a lawyer who's solution to not having money is to ask his parents? You'll be the parent, OP.
    via u/cthulularoo
  • 23
    PenelopeShoots The same parents who tell their daughter to go through with the wedding are the parents who tell her to stay when the marriage is bad... "for the kids" or "because vows" or whatever.
    via u/PenelopeShoots
  • 24
    AdAccomplished6870 NTA. Getting married because it has already been announced is a stupid reason and your parents should be ashamed. Lying, manipulating, and then trying to exploit you has shown your ex-fiance to be a user and a loser. You dodged a bullet.
    via u/AdAccomplished6870
  • 25
    cocoagiant I truly hope 500k in your local currency is not a amount. major
    via u/cocoagiant

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family drama marriage entitled parents wedding drama crazy things parents say engaged wedding dad family engagement fiancé mom fiancee parents married
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